Reflections on Society: MLMonopoly

Will you rise to the Top of the Pyramid? 

MLMonopoly - Will you rise to the top of the Pyramid?

I've decided to create a parody Monopoly game based on MLMs. BEHOLD, MLMONOPOLY!!! The game that has tons of rules, but you can break them as long as you don't get caught (cheating is encouraged). Here's how it works and differs from regular Monopoly.

Starting pieces:

  • Lipstick
  • Leggings
  • Essential oils bottle
  • A portfolio filled with useless documents
  • Rubber container for food
  • A skinny wrap 
  • A scented candle that you could've bought at Walgreens for $20 less
  • Caleb Hennen's business card

Basic Rules

  • All players start off as friends, but over time will hate each other. This is because the other players are involved in pyramid schemes that they just can't seem to see. Thus, you will leave them to pursue your own "business venture". While also, alienating all your friends and family along the way.
  • Each player starts out with $5,000. HOWEVER, this is only a loan from your MLM company. The money is not yours. You can either pay this off at some point in the game or recruit 10 more people to automatically have your debt forgiven, as they will pay it (over time) for you. By turn 20 you will need to pay this back. But if you don't keep track of turns it's not a big deal. 
  • The greenhouses are now people. Each representing one sucker person. They will become part of your downline. 
    • A motel represents someone who actually buys your products   Although these people don't appear in real life, we will use them for the purpose of the game. 
  • Streets have been replaced with MLMs. You are in fact not buying a street, but an opportunity to be in a new business! However, due to heavy market saturation, only one player can be involved in one MLM at a time (much like how one player can only own one street at a time in regular Monopoly).
    • You can also place people at each MLM without having to buy corresponding colors. Example: You can place people at Beach Body, without being involved in It Works.  
  • Railroads have been replaced with "down-line collection". When you land on these you collect $100 per person within your downline. $400 if you have a person (red piece) who actually buys your overpriced crap. 
    • You do not collect money by simply passing these spaces. You have to land on these spaces. The economy's tough & you won't always catch a break. Life is hard on the boulevard!
  • When another player lands on an MLM you have invested in they must purchase your useless crap. Prices go up depending on how many people are in your downline.
  • You also don't get money by passing "Go". However, you do get to recruit one more person to your downline.
  • Jail works the same way in Monopoly. Don't worry, you won't lose anyone from your downline. Cognitive dissidence ensures they can't see your MLM for the scam it really is.
  • Down-line Bonuses work the same way as community chests in monopoly. Although it claims to be a bonus, it sometimes won't be.  
  • Chances work the same way as they do in Monopoly. As in they are a double-edged sword. Remember, you signed up for this! Don't you want to be rich beyond your wildest dreams and spend more time with your family? That's what I thought! 
    • A few chance cards are marked with Bankruptcy. When this happens, a certain MLM will go bankrupt and will not be able to be used for the rest of the game.  You will lose your downline and all the money that you invested into said MLM.
      • Rumor has it, that some MLMs will regroup and reform under a different name. But this is only a rumor, and you're too busy making that dollar to be concerned with petty rumors. #BossBabe 
  • The electric company has been replaced with a Bad Idea, which ends up costing your "business" $150.  
  • The waterworks has turned into another bad idea.  It seems bad ideas are all over the MLM community. Can't imagine why?
  • 1099 Time & IRS Audit are basically game over indicators. Unless you have amassed a ton of people in your downline to give you tons of cash to get out of this. 
  • Remember Ready, fire, aim. No need to get hung up on business laws and regulations. You're an entrepreneur, not some 9 to 5'er! The point of the game isn't to have fun, but to get rich by cutting corners!

Cards

Downline Bonus

Instead of Community Chests you have Downline Bonus. Like a real downline bonus, it won't always be a good thing. Here's a few samples!

Sample Downline Bonuses:

  • Your downline recruits 2 of their friends, gain $500
  • Your downline is under government investigation, lose a turn.
  • Pay a poor tax, or what the lowly 9 to 5'ers call, regular tax. 
  • Downline funds dispercement in your favor, collect $200.  
  • Go to jail for some consulting! If you roll a 13 or higher (by using 2 dice) you can add one person to your downline.
  • Get out of Jail free card, warden's wife is also added to your downline, collect one person!
  • 2 people leave your downline and decided that your MLM was a scam, lose 2 people from your most profitable downline. 

Chances

Chances work the same way in regular Monopoly, just more painful.

Sample Chances:

  • Go to Jail, do not pass Go, do not add one person to your downline.
  • Significant other tells you to get a real job, liquidate 
  • Pay Doctors fee's (remember you don't have insurance because the MLMs you work for wouldn't spring for it) $500. 

Feel free to add your own rules, chances, & down-line bonuses! I wish you much success as you play this game with your friends and alienate them from your life after you try constantly to recruit them!

Also, I've created a nice shirt of MLMonoply for you to wear at all your MLM parties! Link below! 

Will you rise to the top of the pyramid? 

ALSO AVAILABLE IN COFFEE MUGS! 

- MCS1

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